I mentioned that I was having trouble coming up with bad-grammar examples to Melissa the other day, and she said something that made me think.

@Deb, probably because whenever we try to come up with examples, they evade us. It happens to me all the time. That is one reason to rough draft several days before deadline. All kinds of great lines, metaphors, and examples will pop into your head while the draft is simmering on the back burner.

She’s right, of course.

I could expand on this for you, pointing out the wisdom of ageing your writing until your brain is sure that everything is as perfect as it can be, but, really, Melissa covered it. How often have you finalized a blog post, or clicked send on an e-mail, only to have the perfect additional point pop into your head? (Much like the perfect come-back occurs to you hours after your argument with your spouse is over.) It happens to me all the time.

So, really, that’s it. That’s the whole “lesson” for today–don’t necessarily rush to get things out there for public consumption. Sure, there may be deadlines. Yes, there may be the need to post an update to your blog. There are always urgent things that need to be done now.

But if you have the luxury of letting your writing simmer a bit, just like a good stew, the flavors will meld and intensify–with a chance for a final pinch of salt before it leaves your keyboard.

Please, tell me I’m not the only one this happens to?

Jargon is everywhere. You know–the special, “inside” language that is used by specific industries or groups of people but is completely obscure to Joe Public. (Have you ever tried to read a legal brief? Or a medical journal?) Referring to an addressed envelope as a SASE. Calling the newsperson in front of the camera the Talent. Saying a project given a go-ahead is Green-Lighted. Calling a piece of undeliverable mail a Nixie.

The thing you need to be aware of is that jargon, by its very nature, puts a wall between you and everybody else. You might know exactly what you mean when you say your company was “down-sized,” but will everybody? Are you deliberately using it to obfuscate your meaning? Or, is your meaning confusing because you assume that everyone you’re talking to will be familiar with the jargon? If you’re trying to be obscure, or if you’re gearing your writing to a very specific set of people who have their own, very specific way of speaking (lawyers, computer geeks, photographers, rap stars), jargon may be fine.

But be wary. If you aren’t careful, your use of jargon could impede the transference of data segments to the mental computational devices of the written-word scanner.

(In other words, jargon may interfere with your information getting into your reader’s brain.)

Since I’m travelling today, I thought I’d address some of those travel-related words that can get confusing. So please, make sure your safety belts are securely fastened and that your hands are safely on your keyboards, and let’s begin!

• Plane vs Plain:
  • Plane, of course, is short for “Airplane” and describes those nifty machines that fly through the air (when the airlines let them).
  • Plain describes a flat geographic area, often monotonous, like most of the center of the United States.
• Train:
  • One word with two meanings.
  • (1) Train (n): The first describes that locomotive that travels on prelaid tracks and used to go choo-choo in the old days when it ran on steam.
  • (2)Train (v): The second meaning describes what you need to do to get the tallest, strongest person of your travelling party to automatically pick up the heaviest pieces of luggage without your needing to nag.
• Board vs Bored:
  • Board is what you do when you’re finally allowed onto a plane, train, or bus after hours in the terminal.
  • Bored is the emotion you feel while waiting to do so.

• Sail vs Sale:
  • Sail is what you do on one of those pretty boats with the pieces of cloth filling with wind. (I’m told by people who know more about the water than I that a motor-powered boat such as a ferry or a cruise ship does not officially count as “sailing.”)
  • Sale is what you look for while on vacation so that you don’t spend too much of your hard-earned money on cheesy knick-knacks and t-shirts. (Buying them is one thing, but spending full-price? Tsk.)
• Inn vs In:
  • Inn is a quaint name for a hotel, or bed-and-breakfast, or whatever type of lodging you prefer. They can be large, modern hotels (like Hampton Inn), or they can be charming little Victorian houses that have been converted to money-making opportunities by idealists with a flair for doilies. Or, really, anything in between–if they take money and let you sleep there, they can basically call themselves an inn.
  • In is what you need to be to get a reservation at the trendiest restaurants, get into the coolest clubs, or just INto the swimming pool at your inn.
• Wine vs Whine:
  • Wine: Visiting wineries while you travel can be a pleasant way to spend a few hours (and even more money), because once you’ve tried the wine-tasting at the end, your resistance to the sales pitch will be low. And, really, what could be a better travel souvenir than a delicate bottle filled with a liquid that does not travel well?
  • Whine: The high-pitched, annoying sound often eminating from the back seat of the family car on long drives. “Are we there yet?” “He’s touching me!” “She’s on my side!” “I have to go to the bathroom!” Whines may also be heard from adults by the end of a long day of shouting, “Don’t make me turn this car around!”
• Tour vs Tourist:
  • Tour is what you do when you visit a new place or a museum. Usually headed up by a tour-guide to point out interesting features and to warn you about keeping your hands and feet inside the vehicle. Depending on the location, the guide, the scenery, the weather, and the script, these can be either a fabulous and informative use of a few hours or one of the deadliest, most boring places to be trapped on your precious vacation.
  • Tourists, on the other hand, used to be just people who were on tours, but have since transformed into obnoxious strangers, often with funny accents, who carry cameras everywhere (even though they don’t have blogs), and block traffic while standing in the middle of the street with a map trying to figure out where they are.
  • In other words, going on tours is okay, but being a tourist is dreadful.
• Holiday:
  • Another one of those confusing words with more than one meaning.
  • (1) To a British person, “Holiday” means the actual trip–getting on that plane, lying on that beach, touring that museum. Holidays are something they “go on.”
  • (2) To Americans, “Holiday” is the word for time off from work. Fourth of July (sorry, Brits) is a holiday. Christmas is a holiday. A long weekend can be a holiday. But the trip you stood for four hours in the airport to take? That’s a “Vacation.”

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little tour of some of the more confusing, travel-related words in the English language. All gratuities can be left in the tip-jar. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go load the car with luggage, catch a ferry, and spend the next 6 hours or so after that driving home along I-95 with my Mom and my tends-to-get-carsick dog. That rush-hour and Tappan Zee Bridge part is going to be FUN.

Can you think of anything I missed? Come on, chime in, folks!

Remember when we talked about using apostrophes for indicating possession? Well, here’s an interesting tidbit.

The United States Board on Geographic Names has a long-standing policy to discourage the use of apostrophes in place names. In 1894, they eliminated 1,665 apostrophes across the country, to widespread shock and dismay, I’m sure.

But then, there’s Martha’s Vineyard. One of my very favorite places. For those who don’t know, it’s an island just south of Cape Cod in Massachusetts, and one with unusual strength of character (if an island can be said to have character). It is, for example, one of the few tourist spots that has successfully fought off the advances of McDonalds. Or Starbucks. Or just about any hotel chain you can mention. And, well, it didn’t take kindly to having its apostrophe taken away.

So, in 1933, the Vineyard fought back. And won.

It’s only one of five places in the United States that has won approval to have an official apostrophe in its name. (We’re talking geography here, of course, not things like stores or houses.) Five places in the entire country. See? I knew the island was special.

The irony? Now that we are firmly in the internet age, you’ll get fewer Google hits if you use the apostrophe. (Still 2,400,000 of them, which isn’t really small change, but something like 500,000 more if you leave out the apostrophe.)

If you’d like to read more about this, there’s a great article right here, If only Martha Knew the Power she Possessed. Very interesting! (Thanks, Mom, for the link.) And it will give you all something to think about while I’m at the Martha’s Vineyard Fiber Festival this weekend.

*(And, I was so tempted to put “Who’s Vineyard” in the title to mimic the “Martha’s Vineyard” construction but was afraid it would be taken as if I meant it seriously rather than a joke and decided not to risk it!)

I did post promptly about Monday being the (unofficial) Blogger Appreciation Day, but then I just didn’t get around to telling you who, exactly, I appreciate.

I mean, obviously, I appreciate YOU. (And, really, you are my favorite.) But there are other bloggers out there that I appreciate, too, and I’ve been stingy of late telling them so, and now seems a good time. So, here are a few of my favorites out of my RSS reader.

• Angela Booth’s Writing Blog
• Confident Writing
• Copyblogger
• Daily Writing Tips
• Entrepreneur’s Journey
• Grow Your Writing Business
• Liz Strauss’s Successful Blog
• Men with Pens
• Problogger
• The QC Report (because she’s just funny)
• The Renegade Writer
• Sparkplugging (formerly eMoms at Home)
• Thinking About
• Word Wrangler
• Word Sell, Inc.
• Writing, Clear and Simple
• Writing Forward
• Writing Thoughts
• A Writer’s Word, an Editor’s Eye
• The Yarn Harlot (because whether you knit or not, she’s hilarious)
• Zen Habits

I am.

Simple, isn’t it? Serenely self-confident and self-contained, it embodies a simple statement of fact, unburdened by any distractions.

No, no. I’m not talking about the philosophical statement (though, that’s true, too). I’m talking about the sentence, because it simply doesn’t get any more, well, simple than that.

A noun: I

A verb: am

Punctuation to finish the thought: Period.

That, my friends, is all you need for a sentence.

Of course, you can add more stuff to it–that’s what makes things interesting. You can make bread with nothing but water and flour if you truly need to, but it’s a lot tastier if you add things like yeast, salt, butter, eggs, fruit, spices, nuts… you get the idea. But, the essentials must be there. A combination of butter, eggs, and salt may make a tasty omelet, but it is NOT bread. Likewise, a combination of adjectives, verbs, and prepositions does not make a sentence.

Every, single sentence, in order to be a sentence, must have a noun and a verb, and it must complete a thought.

Wait, I hear you saying, what about something like “Stop!” or “Shoot!” Aren’t they sentences? Well, yes, they are, but the noun is understood to be “You,” as in, “You wait.” They are technically commands, declarative sentences, and for those, brevity is key, but since they are directed AT somebody, the noun is understood to be there.

And, obviously, there’s more to be said about sentences. (How many two-word sentences do you come across on a daily basis?) It’s always good to start with the basics, though.  You understand.

Did you know that Monday is Blogger Appreciation Day?

Well, it’s kind of unofficial, but here’s the idea:

We’re in it together, blogging is about collaboration and together going further than we can by ourselves - so why not help another blogger today by shooting them a word of encouragement, a pep talk, a congratulations, an idea to help them improve or some other positive constructive message. Better still, do it publicly on your blog and tell the world about another blogger who you appreciate.

So, for the record–I appreciate all of you!

There’s a weekly meme over at Booking Through Thursday which is usually based on reading, but this week, it was geared toward writing, so I thought I’d chime in here. Everybody (meaning you) is free to play along–all you need to do is post an answer on your blog and then head over to BTT and leave a comment so the other participants can find you.

Anyway, here’s mine:

• Pick up the nearest book. (I’m sure you must have one nearby.)
• Turn to page 123.
• What is the first sentence on the page?
• The last sentence on the page?
• Now . . . connect them together….
  (And no, you may not transcribe the entire page of the book–that’s cheating!)

My nearest book is The Snake, the Crocodile & the Dog by Elizabeth Peters.

Howard arrived in time to see the end of this performance.

“Bravo!” he called as the band began to play the performers off the stage. “That looked wonderful, I can’t believe I missed it.”

“Waylaid by thieves, no doubt?” I inquired gently, inquisitively raising one eyebrow.

“Of a surity. Definite thieves. I barely escaped with my life.”

“Yet you managed to escape with your theater ticket intact. How very fortunate. Were there many of them, to detain you through the entire first act?”

“Dozens.”

“But you managed to save your wrist watch, your cufflinks, and the flower in your lapel. Are you quite certain there were more than one?”

“The plural, decidedly,” said Howard.

This was fun!

(And, actually, I was going to use the writing book I had sitting nearby and come up with something closer to this blog’s “theme,” but the two sentences, “It’s risky, what you’re doing,” and “If you’re not interested, you can be sure your reader will feel like tearing her hair out–if not yours.” But tying those two sentences together sure sounded like they were a succinct summation of my post from yesterday, so … I went with the fiction instead!)

Joanna is asking about Power.

I’ve written about using your own knowledge to empower your writing, and I’ve written about how a foundation of knowledge can give your writing the power to explore the world beyond those boundaries.

But, here’s the thing–none of that matters if you don’t drive your writing. If you don’t feel a certain amount of passion about your writing, it’s going to fizzle alongside the road, drained and empty.

I’m not saying that you have to love and feel deeply moved about every word that you write. You can’t write a description on how to use a software program with the same passion that you have a character seduce a woman in your novel. (Or, if you do, that’s a software program I so want to learn.) But that doesn’t mean those instructions shouldn’t be written as well as you possibly can write them.

Ultimately–the power that drives the writing comes from within you. You can do a workmanlike job that’s perfectly adequate, but for great writing (yes, even a great user’s manual) you need to write to the best of your ability, with verve, with enthusiasm.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at the Owner’s Manual that came with your computer, DVD player, or cell phone–anything, really–and take a look at the text describing the features. If you’re lucky enough to have text rather than pictograms. Now check out a really good, how-to website. Like this one on customizing your own graphics. Or this great tutorial on darning socks (no, really). They could be boring as anything, just giving the bare basics of what you need to know, but instead, they’re interesting. You can tell they were written with joy in their authors’ hearts.

The power for fantastic writing is right there, in you, at this very moment. I don’t want to sound too New Age kind of mystical here, or anything, but it’s true. If you feel motivated to write, if you feel passionate about your writing (even if it’s a series of how-tos), and if you feel the drive … that’s all you really need.

Well, okay, there is that whole vocabulary, grammar, being able to string sentences together thing, but that’s just technique. What we’re talking about here is the whole reason for mastering it. Because it’s a rush. Because it’s fun. Because–done right–there’s nothing quite like it. You just have to get behind the driver’s wheel and go.

Why don’t you take it out for a spin and see what it can do?

Back in February (yes, I’m late), Peter asked:

I would like to know when you are allowed to use the hyphen (”-”). I tend to use it pretty often - like now - and I’m wondering if it is proper use. I also get confused when two words are joined up through a hyphen. In my primary language - which is dutch - we tend to stick words together. With english, I’m not always sure when you are supposed to place a hyphen, leave a gap, or join the words togethers. Like for instance: all together, altogether, all-together. Well placed, well-placed, wellplaced?

First, there is a difference between a dash and a hyphen. We’ve discussed dashes before–they are used to indicate a break or pause in thought, much like a comma does. Where Peter says “- like now-” he should rightfully use two dashes together (–).

A Hyphen, on the other hand, has two functions.

• One is for pulling words together. (”Well-placed”)
• One is for separating them into syl-la-bles.

Since Peter’s questions is mostly about the first one, we’re going to focus on that.
I’ve touched on the first one, back when I told you about compound-adjectives, but the “compound” part is not restricted solely to adjectives. Generally speaking, when you’re putting two or more words together because they are acting as a team, you need to tie them together with hyphens. (“Blue-green yarn.” “The next-to-the-last chair in the row.” “The well-placed decoration is just the right touch.”)

If they are working individually, however, you keep them separate. (”I like the blue, green, and yellow yarns.” “I’m sitting next to the door.” “I must say, that chair is so well placed, it never falls over.”)

Also, if they get tied together long enough, they eventually become one word. (Handspun yarn. Lightbulb.) So in Peter’s question about “all together,” you can use “all together” to describe the action of a group, but you would not use “all-together” at any time I can immediately think of. “Altogether,” of course, can describe (ahem) a person without clothes, as in “The king was in the altogether, as naked as the day that he was born.” If you’re not sure whether a pairing has passed into the not-needing-hyphen stage yet, it doesn’t hurt anything to use it.

Thanks for the question, Peter. Hope this helps. Anybody else have questions?