Timely

Since this blog is called “Punctuality Rules!,” let’s talk about punctuality, shall we? To quote myself, “Punctuality is not just about making meetings on time, but about being exact. It’s about doing what needs to be done at exactly the time it should be done. To me, that’s an issue that transcends mere punctuation.” This is true, but punctuality is primarily about being on time. This is important for so many reasons, but the main one, to me, is about respect. When you make an appointment with someone–a doctor, a hair-stylist, a friend, a date–it’s a social contract, an agreement to be at the same place at the same time. There’s a reasonable amount of leeway built in to this agreement. A few minutes for bad traffic, a sick child, a broken heel on your shoe is understandable. Life happens. I don’t think there’s a single person who hasn’t had to wait for somebody at some point in their life.

However, there are people who are chronically late. Always. My best friend in high school was regularly 10 minutes late whenever we’d get together. I learned to adapt, even if that meant I spent a lot of time hanging out in her hallway while she ran around after her coat, her gloves, her bookbag. It was marginally inconvenient, but more like a personal quirk. But then there are the people who are unreasonably late. One of my father’s friends when he was in high school was so constantly late that when his group of buddies would make plans, they would automatically tell him to meet them an hour earlier than the actual time. Even worse, a relative of my brother-in-law is regularly hours late to any family event. For a recent family party that started at 12:00 noon, she showed up around 7:00. Seven hours late, with no apology whatsoever, even though she arrived just in time to interfere with the hostess trying to get her 8-month old baby down for a much-needed nap.

I really can’t help but wonder how this ever became acceptable behavior. In fact, I don’t think that it is acceptable. A few minutes? I can make allowances–especially if young children are involved–but anything more than, say, 15 minutes requires explanation. First, there should absolutely be a phone call to say, “I’m running late but I’m on my way.” This is mandatory. It’s not nice to leave the people you’re meeting worrying that you’ve been run over by a bus–whether it’s a business meeting or a social event, that’s just not cool.

More than that, though, the people who are chronically late . . . the ones you can rely on to show up well behind everybody else . . . to my mind, they are nothing but selfish. Don’t they realize that everybody has a schedule? Everybody has things to juggle, obligations to meet, but as I said earlier, an appointment is its own obligation. If you’ve made a committment to show up, you show up. Period. Unless there’s an emergency, in which case, again, you call. It’s not like it’s impossible to find a phone these days. There’s probably one in your pocket right now.

If it’s a business appointment, arriving late is unprofessional and it’s going to reflect badly on you for having kept your compatriot waiting–as if their time is worth less than yours. Which, let’s face it, unless you’re Donald Trump, is not the case. If it’s a social engagement, showing up late just implies that you don’t care enough about the other person to bother. Which probably isn’t the case, either, or why would you bother to agree to meet in the first place?

Like I said, it’s a matter of respect. A little decency. An acknowledgment that the world doesn’t revolve around any one person’s schedule. Unless you’re the King or Queen. If you’re wearing a crown, I suppose I’m willing to make allowances. After all, travelling with an entourage can be time-consuming. For the rest of us, though? You learned to tell time in kindergarten, right? There was a reason for that.